Today the universe slung me a healthy dose of karma, as I felt firsthand the cruel sarcasm behind the phrase, “Almost as fun as a root canal!”.

For THREE AND A HALF HOURS a less than gentle dentist did unmentionable things to one sad & weathered little molar. Excuse me Mr. Dentist? What did that molar ever do to you?

Now that all the yanking, pulling and merciless drilling is over, I sit here (Vicodin on tap) with a sore face & downtrodden heart. Damn you karma! This is all about that piece of Brach’s caramel I stole from the grocery store when I was six years old, isn’t it?!

Lesson learned: take better care of your teeth, see a dentist regularly, and maybe you’ll never have to GIVE someone $800.00 to perform chinese torture in your mouth.

That domestic ass-kicking I was talking about getting done this week? YEAH, not happening so much. I’ve barely been keeping up with the basics. Last week (which was week #2 of being unemployed) was like, “Not getting up at 5:30AM to drive 40 minutes to work? Hell yeah! I can live with this!”. Uh, this week? More like, “What the hell is this? I did not sign up for this and I DEMAND A REFUND!”.

While I’ve been spendings my days doing all sort of things ranging from cleaning, cooking, and picking up toys, it seems the majority of my energy is spent on two MAIN tasks. That would be changing dirty diapers (like ten bizillion times a day) and cleaning up food/crumbs from the floors. Oh, and also rushing to wipe up juice spills. Because explaining to a toddler that you “gotta keep your sippy cup UPRIGHT”, for the 8th time in one day, is like banging your head against a wall for the fun of it. My kids seem to be especially ornery these days too. I think they’re more effected by the change than expected. They probably miss going to daycare and playing with the other kids. I’m sure they’re sick of seeing Mom in her pajamas and no make-up, just as much as I’m sick of them slamming doors and pushing every-ever-lovin’ button on the entertainment system all day long.

Alas, this week is almost over and Dad will soon be off his work schedule to join in on the parental fun. It’s always so much harder when it’s 2 against 1, versus each of us working with one kid at a time. However, judging from some of the situations hubby has had on his own lately… (i.e. How do you negotiate with a toddler to get them to UNLOCK the door while you’re trapped in the garage in your boxer shorts? Especially since said toddler is the one who locked you out to begin with?)… Yeah, pray for us both.

Happy Father’s Day! Forgive me upfront as I’ve already consumed several beers with no stopping in sight. (But seriously, I do need to stop soon or a massive hangover is sure to ensue.) The kiddos are asleep! Philip and I are on our own computers here in the home office. He’s watching some LAME videos and I’m listening to 80’s alternative on my HEADPHONES (because some cranky-ass complained about the cross-noise). How nerdy are we? I even sent him an IM through Facebook. Too bad he won’t humor me with a reply!

So tonight was really nice. I attempted a Shepherd’s Pie recipe for the second time and surprisingly, it turned out pretty damn good. I would post the recipe, but am fastly approaching “too buzzed” to talk about anything serious. But needless to say, I’m pretty smug right now about my new-found cooking abilities (if you want to go so far as to call them that). Remember this is coming from someone who could barely boil water correctly. We also watched Wall-E with the boys. Gavin was all over the place, but I was happy with how well Quentin sat through the movie. He was so cute! When they showed scenes of Wall-E and EVE in love, he would say “Mommy and Daddy!”. He’s only 2.5, but wondering if he isn’t ready to see a movie in a real theater yet?

Tomorrow is a new week and I’m hoping to be a bit more productive than I’ve been in the last two weeks. I think I’ve had enough time to let the newness of being unemployed settle in. It’s time for the domestic ass-kicking to set in and the crazy-mad organizational skills to take ahold of the situation. Unfortunately, having two screaming, hyper houligans running around makes for little time to do anything but CLEAN UP AFTER MESSES. Forget about forward thinking! Somehow I must master the art of entertaining the boys AND cleaning/organizing. Or I am just crazy to think it’s even doable?

P.S. the worst part of drinking beer is having to PEE every 15 minutes!