The day Kidzilla ate Cost Cutters

So today is my first official day of being unemployed. Technically it was yesterday, but since I used to have Mondays off – I’m calling it today. So how did it go you ask? [deep breath] …

It’s fine now. Kids are napping. We took them for haircuts and to IKEA for lunch (and to buy a super cheap coffee table I saw when I was there last week with my friend Jan). Gavin did REALLY well with his haircut this time. It turns out the trick is to give him a lollipop. Doy! He’s never had one before, so he was so involved with mackin’ on it, he didn’t mind the scissors or clippers this time. Didn’t even notice! Quentin on the other hand… OhMyFREAKINGod. He was TERRIBLE! He was screaming bloody murder!!!! Not even Philip could hold him down. At one point we thought we were going to have to take him home with literally half his hair cut! He was bawling, bright red, and all booger-y. He was a HOT MESS! It was very traumatic for EVERYONE in that store – especially Philip. I also feel sorry for the one customer trying to get her haircut in peace. I’m sorry lady! I’ve had my tubes tied, I promise you!

Then I was suddenly hit by an awful bout of diarrhea (definitely the stress) and had to make a beeline for Fry’s with Gavin, who also smelled like he needed a serious diaper change. Turns out he was just seriously FARTING. When we got back to Cost Cutters, Quentin was finally done and it was Philip’s turn. Quentin’s hair turned out okay. Still a little long on top, but considering the screaming demon child she had to work with, the hairdresser did pretty well. One girl completely gave up on him and another girl had to step in. Philip was pretty stressed at that point, sweating buckets! Both boys were overheated too. I was also all sweaty and my stomach was still pretty jacked up. I walked them over to Jack in the Box in 110 degree heat and got them a Strawberry/Banana smoothie to share. THANK GOD I stood my ground and demanded we take the stroller, when Philip and I were standing in the driveway arguing about it. I have no idea how we would have managed without it! I would have crapped my pants trying to CARRY Gavin over to Fry’s in time! NO JOKE!!!

After Philip’s haircut, we went to IKEA and ate lunch in the IKEA café. It was decent. I’d eaten there once before and LOVED the Swedish meatballs and mashed potatoes. Totally authentic tasting. Quentin was his usual self- he drank lots of chocy-milk, but hardly ate anything. Gavin ate pretty well, also as usual. Once again, Quentin was a shrieking-monster-of-unspent-energy all throughout the store. We were determined to shop though, much to the chagrin of everyone else in the marketplace. We got a really cheap coffee table ($29.99) for the living room that matches all the other IKEA crap we have. We’re determined not to purchase any grown-up (aka: nice/fancy) furniture until the kids are older, mostly because being boys and therefore being monsters, they eat furniture for lunch. Also got a huge living room rug for $17.99. Some new throw pillows/covers for the couch, a pyrex dish to make casseroles in (we used to have one of these and not sure what happened to it) and since I’ve actually been cooking (that’s another story, but let’s just say we’ve all had diahrrea at least once from my “cooking”) we really needed one. We also got some plastic ware (little cups so Quentin can start to ditch the sippy cups) and some plastic kids utensils. IKEA was crazy, but nothing beats Quentin at Cost Cutters!!!! We came home and put them both right to nap. Going on outings is STILL super difficult and mostly traumatic! We’re wondering if it will EVER get easier?

My sweet friend Mary invited us to go to a water park on Friday, but I’m super scared of taking the both of them myself! Philip and I can barely keep our shit together when it’s the two of us! But just me, add water, and 2 screaming boys? OH HELL NAH! Unfortunately, I think that’s one invite I might have to decline :/

So other than my son making a spectacle of himself in Cost Cutters, what else is new? It feels weird to be at home. Jobless! There are so many things for me to do (projects!), so I’m not scared of being bored. Just worried about the money (or lack thereof). Upon advice from family/friends, I (almost) applied for unemployment this morning, but after getting so far in the system, ending up chickening out. Both Philip and I agree not to mess with it. Not worth going to jail over! They are SERIOUS about fraud. It’s all over the DES site. They’re very clear that unemployment is not for those that VOLUNTARY end their employment. They’re clear that unemployment is for people who are laid off and fully intend to find a full-time job as soon as they can. They ask some VERY tough questions. We were both SO UNCOMFORTABLE while going through the online process, we said it wasn’t worth it. They wanted the bosslady’s name/contact info and there was an entire page asking for explanation as to why I couldn’t work out “the issues” prior to quitting. I didn’t want to lie/make up a half-baked story or put bosslady in a bad position if they were to call her! So basically, filing for unemployment is just not going to be an option for us. Bottom line. We will suffer the honest way, like all the other families who’ve decided to be home for the kids and live on one income.

Day 1 down, the rest of my life to go…