I’m in a serious funk! My energy & mood levels are down, my impatience & irritation is up. Oh no! I’m failing the SAHM test! Already?! I called my girlfriend Mary and kinda unloaded via voicemail (sorry girl, love ya!). By the time she called me back, I was totally over it. How did I get over it so quickly? I took the kids to Target and I spent money. BEST DANG THERAPY IN THE WORLD!

But seriously, let’s just say that today was “one of them days!”. I’m learning (the hard way) that toddlers cannot be entertained with a DVD for a “few moments”, while Mom squirrels away to do some graphic work on the computer. Because even though it’s relatively quiet on the other side of that office door, total secret mayhem is actually taking place in your living room. This time the havoc came via an entire bag of potato chips turned upside down and spread throughout the living room (I still curse the day that Quentin learned how to open the pantry door). Also, a torn off diaper and lovely poop trails scattered down the hall. I really should have taken a picture, you’d have been much entertained! In their defense, what was supposed to take a few minutes ended up taking MUCH longer (not even sure how long, I lost track of time) because I was having serious technical difficulties. But, we live and learn, right? Next time, I’ll just have to wait until after their bed time before I decide to go all “Office Space” with that piece of sh*t printer that keeps eating my freakin’ labels. So much for doing productive personal stuff during the day. I guess I must resign myself to the fact that my kids 0wn m3. If I could just come to terms with the fact that this life is truly now “my job” and that I’m not just on vacation! And God, if you could just send me a tiny bit more of that magical stuff called “patience” (or a valium). KTHXBYE.

That domestic ass-kicking I was talking about getting done this week? YEAH, not happening so much. I’ve barely been keeping up with the basics. Last week (which was week #2 of being unemployed) was like, “Not getting up at 5:30AM to drive 40 minutes to work? Hell yeah! I can live with this!”. Uh, this week? More like, “What the hell is this? I did not sign up for this and I DEMAND A REFUND!”.

While I’ve been spendings my days doing all sort of things ranging from cleaning, cooking, and picking up toys, it seems the majority of my energy is spent on two MAIN tasks. That would be changing dirty diapers (like ten bizillion times a day) and cleaning up food/crumbs from the floors. Oh, and also rushing to wipe up juice spills. Because explaining to a toddler that you “gotta keep your sippy cup UPRIGHT”, for the 8th time in one day, is like banging your head against a wall for the fun of it. My kids seem to be especially ornery these days too. I think they’re more effected by the change than expected. They probably miss going to daycare and playing with the other kids. I’m sure they’re sick of seeing Mom in her pajamas and no make-up, just as much as I’m sick of them slamming doors and pushing every-ever-lovin’ button on the entertainment system all day long.

Alas, this week is almost over and Dad will soon be off his work schedule to join in on the parental fun. It’s always so much harder when it’s 2 against 1, versus each of us working with one kid at a time. However, judging from some of the situations hubby has had on his own lately… (i.e. How do you negotiate with a toddler to get them to UNLOCK the door while you’re trapped in the garage in your boxer shorts? Especially since said toddler is the one who locked you out to begin with?)… Yeah, pray for us both.

I still get the scoop from work. Thanks to my BFF! She just forwarded me the announcement bosslady made about my backfill. Actually, it was for the backfill of the admin that replaced me. So everything’s official. Who am I kidding? It was official the day I walked out through that turnstile, knowing there was no going back! *sigh* I have to admit, I feel a sense of sadness! And… loss. And… a feeling of being leftout. Like not being one of the cool chicks in high school! Ugh.

As much as I ranted about bosslady (aka: TDWSH – if you read my old blog you know what that stands for!), I sort of miss being her admin. All of the ass-chewing aside, most of the time I felt important, needed, talented even! I know I should feel all of that with my kids, and I do! But it’s still hard. Being unemployed is the weirdest feeling! Talk about isolation city! I’ve worked since I was 16 years old. I know I’ll get over it. I gotta give myself time to “grieve”, it’s only been one week. Yeesh, two months ago I would have NEVER expected myself to say that! Me? Missing my job? I was hanging by the last thread, somewhere in between insanity, exhaustion, and seriously NOT having fun anymore. I could hardly wait to blow that popsicle stand! Now- I’m a sad little cupcake, missing my importantness. (I know that’s not even a real word, get over it.)